Single is not by chance its by choice

Table of Contents

Introduction

Singlehood / staying single is a huge question in society, although the person reaches middle adulthood. It can be perceived from various perspectives in the area of psychology. People who are single are sometimes considered as different from others and are perceived as not belonging to the actual functionality of Indian society. They are blamed for following other countries' cultures.

They are often not allowed to lead their lives happily and peacefully. Most of the time, their choices are questioned based on their traits, psychological/emotional problems, personality issues, avoidance of marital life due to fear of commitment, fear of separation, handling infidelity, or toxic relationships.

It acts as a huge stigma, not just within the family but also in the workplace strategies or environment. They are treated differently and may be made to feel that they lack responsibility or do not value relationships. Previous generations considered marital relationships as important, where taking responsibility for the family and oneself was highly valued, and this belief continues in the present situation.

Discussion on women choosing to be single is often more significant, whereas men are not questioned as much.

There are certain stereotypical statements where the patient voices out their thoughts about singlehood:

Myth: "I am not capable of handling any marital responsibility."

Fact: "I would prefer being responsible for taking care of myself and my parents' needs, managing finances, focusing on my job, and exploring my skills."

Power of being single

There were a few overwhelming responses observed from individuals who chose to be single. It could be because of their parents' conflicts, fear of separation, past experiences, infidelity, or lack of commitment from either partner, which may act as a burden for both individuals to lead a peaceful life.

However, being single does not only come from these reasons. It can also be because each individual prefers to give a different colour to their life.

They give value to family or parents' relationships, explore their careers in different places or sectors of their choice, which brings financial independence and helps them give importance to parental choices by taking them to travel to different places apart from their own country.

They will be available for emotional requirements, explore self-skills in areas of demand and bring growth and identity in the field they work in. It does not create stagnation in their career or personal growth; it can bring greater life satisfaction.

Statement from a patient

"Being able to fulfil my parents' needs and take care of their health requirements while being psychologically supportive gives me satisfaction. Others, due to relationship commitments, may sometimes be unable to provide health care and emotional fulfilment."

Advantages

Facing infidelity in relationships or insecurity within relationships can be avoided. Being single, interestingly, helps individuals identify their self worth, develop stronger self knowledge and have less willingness to accept disrespectful relationships. It helps them handle family responsibilities.

Self care, self fulfilment, maintaining friendships, being creative in career, focusing more on career growth and skills all these enhance self-awareness. It not only helps in connecting with family but also equips individuals for social adjustment, social life, and interaction.

Self enrichment helps individuals understand emotions in depth, identify emotional challenges in different relationship areas and understand the emotional values of different relationships. Emotional fulfilment is not only about having a romantic relationship but also about how an individual experiences fulfilment through personal choices.

It creates a valid life path to explore different cultural requirements and also connect with spirituality in life.

"My space is calmer and more composed than being in a toxic or unclear relationship. Self commitment is more valuable than a commitment that does not have value or worth. The validity towards life becomes more precise," shares the client.

Disadvantages

The single hood person most of the time get blamed as a incompetent in the areas of marital relationship, finale management or psychological or other health issues. Sometimes it is considered as selfish towards themselves and unable to follow societal norms and cultural boundaries.

However, remaining single is a choice, not always a chance. If there are any taunts, one can try to ignore them and remind themselves that others may not understand the depth of self-love and self-care.

By Rajatha Sarkar, Relationship Counsellor, Psychologist at Maarga Mind Care, Bangalore