Table of Contents

Grief and Loneliness

Grief and loneliness are two words that we read very commonly everywhere, it can be digital media, newspapers or any book about a character going through something. These words (or emotions) sound simple or you can even explain someone by using few words; grief is sadness that comes due to loss of something or someone and loneliness is often looked upon as a feeling of disconnection or isolation from social settings or relationships. However these emotions are way deeper and complex than one might think.

Grief

The experience of feeling the emotion of grief is a common process but we often overlook it. It’s a painful feeling that one feels after one loses their loved ones or something that is beloved to them. It isn’t necessary to be about losing a person, one may experience grief after ending a relationship, losing a job, a dream or even a version of themselves that they thought they would always be. “It is both a process and a result”, a reaction to this physical, behavioural and emotional loss (11).

It’s often accompanied by your body physically feeling things:

• Heaviness
• Tightness in chest
• Tiredness or exhaustion that sleep cannot fix
• Cause anxiousness due to sudden separation

It’s not just something you are feeling internally in your heart or thoughts in your mind but also behavioural signs like:

• Difficulties in sleeping
• Not feeling like/forgetting to eat
• Fixate or constantly think about the past and having apprehensions about the future (2).

It is a void that has been created due to the loss which at that moment feels impossible to fill in. It also leaves them with a mix of (2):

• Confusion
• Regret
• Yearning
• Sadness
• Anger

It is a process of unfolding and a gradual progression of a variety of your intense feelings, thoughts, behaviours and physiological sensation until it begins to feel a little more settled and an inner balance has been restored (1).

Loneliness

We often think of loneliness as isolating ourselves from others, feeling sad or even attributing it to a personality trait. It is a very common experience that many individuals go through, around 80% of the population below 18 years of age and 40% of adults above the age of 65 experience it at least sometime (5). It is a state of mind that craves human connection but feels alone at the same time.

Unlike solitude, which is a voluntary choice, where the individual enjoys being alone and spending time by themselves, loneliness is more complex and unique to each individual. For some it can be (10):

• Struggling to make social connections
• It can be surrounded by a lot of peers
• Pretending to smile in every photo
• Never missing out on any social engagement but still feeling lonely on the inside.

It quietly resides beneath them making it less evident but making its impression at the same time. This usually happens when someone feels exhausted due to emotional disconnection even when people are around them physically, they feel unseen or unheard because they try to pretend what they are not to try to fit in with that particular group.

It is often seen as a chronic loneliness since it is not just due to (6):

• A specific event but societal norms
• Early relationships that were not fulfilled
• Constant discomfort with self.

It can also develop slowly without any visible triggers (9). To wrap it up there is no particular cause of loneliness and different individuals may experience it differently (7).

Grief and Loneliness Together

There is a possibility that both these emotions may not always arrive separately but together, when they happen to show up together they form a loop.

As said earlier, grief makes you pull away from others because of the notion that others might not understand what you are going through.

The ‘pulling away’ part leads to loneliness where you feel a disconnect from others or not being able to feel your real self.

Lastly this loneliness makes it harder for the grief to process, the sadness that they already had due to the loss that they experienced.

This entire process goes on quietly or unseen until addressed or done something about it to break the cycle. This might sound a bit familiar, since everyone goes through this in one way or the other. It may sound like a vulnerability but it’s not a weakness of an individual when two human emotions show up together.

Coping

Sometimes it feels that it’s been a long time since you are holding this and you want to put it down because let’s be honest, it’s genuinely heavy to carry such weight. If you are going through grief and loneliness or someone else you might know, the first step isn’t advice but ‘connection’.

Meet, sit, engage in conversations and try to let it out. Talk it out and express it to someone whom you confide in. If someone is talking it out to you, just let them talk and let it out, don’t try to fix them or give them advice.

At the same time it is essential to remember that if things get too intense, or you cannot hold it anymore, that is when professional help becomes important. If you are helping out someone and you are aware that beyond a point you may not be able to do anything, ask them to seek professional help as it gives a safe space to explore these emotions in a guided and a pace at which you are comfortable with to navigate yourself in a better way.

Remember, seeking help is not a sign of weakness. If you are someone who is going through this, it is important to remember this renowned phrase, ‘It’s okay to not be okay’. It’s not necessary to be fine all the time and with help things can get better.

Disclaimer: This content is for educational purposes only and should not be mistaken for any professional advice, guidance or any diagnosis. If you feel this way or require any help regarding any mental health related concerns, reach out to a mental health professional immediately.

Written by Misa Patel Intern Psychologist – Approved by Ms. Sahana S Consultant Child Psychologist Maarga Mind Care

References

1. Abi-Hashem, N. & The New Life Clinics. (1999). Grief, Loss, and Bereavement: An Overview. The New Life Clinics.
2. APA Dictionary of Psychology. (n.d.). https://dictionary.apa.org/grief
3. Bose, D. S. (2025). “The Enduring Psychological Impact of Grief: A Comprehensive Review of Long-Term Effects.” International Journal of Humanities and Social Science Invention, 14(6), 111–122. https://doi.org/10.35629/7722-1406111122
4. Guldin, M., & Leget, C. (2023). The integrated process model of loss and grief - An interprofessional understanding. Death Studies, 48(7), 738–752. https://doi.org/10.1080/07481187.2023.2272960
5. Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Loneliness Matters: A theoretical and empirical review of consequences and mechanisms. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 40(2), 218–227. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12160-010-9210-
6. Heu, L. C. (2025). A moment versus a lifetime: patterns of loneliness and perceived causes in people’s lived experiences. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1553(1), 172–186. https://doi.org/10.1111/nyas.70082
7. Novotney, A. (2020, March 24). CE corner: The risks of social isolation. Monitor on Psychology, 50(5). https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/05/ce-corner-isolation
8. Palmer, Hugh. (2018). Bereavement and grief counselling. 10.1201/9781315381879-61.
9. Science Insights Team. (2026, March 3). What is being lonely and how it affects your health - ScienceInsights. ScienceInsights. https://scienceinsights.org/what-is-being-lonely-and-how-it-affects-your-health/
10. The Health Consequences of Loneliness. (n.d.). Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/loneliness-causes-effects-and-treatments-2795749
11. Wolfelt, A. D. (1988). Death and grief: A guide for clergy. Muncie, IN: Accelerated Development.